Confidence isn’t a mood. It’s a muscle

Last week I played in a padel tournament that doubled as a networking event. There’s nothing like embarrassing yourself in front of your prospects!

As I struggled through trying to win points and games, it struck me that padel is a chaotic, fast-paced game but the only times I won, was when I was calm. I realised it wasn’t about speed, it was about composure, timing and confidence.

Whether you’re on a court or in a boardroom, confidence is what steadies you. And that’s what I spoke about recently with a group of women agency leaders from the Alliance of Independent Agencies: how confidence can completely change how you show up in a pitch of a sales call.

The Confidence Myth

We often confuse confidence with charisma. The loudest people in the room, the ones with the biggest gestures or sharpest lines, are assumed to be the most confident. But in reality, confidence is quieter. It’s grounded in preparation, focus and self-awareness.

True confidence doesn’t come from bravado. It comes from clarity. It’s knowing your story, your strengths and your value before you ever open PowerPoint.  Or even better - don’t open PowerPoint!

That’s what we talked about in the session: how to replace the idea of “performing confidence” with “building confidence.”

Three Ways to Build Confidence in a Pitch

1. Preparation is emotional insurance.

You can’t fake readiness. You can only build it.

Do the research, rehearse your Q&A, plan for the awkward questions. It’s not about memorising answers, it’s about removing uncertainty. The more you prepare early, the calmer you’ll feel later.

Confidence comes from knowing, not guessing.

2. Chemistry beats polish.

Pitches are about connection, not perfection. The best teams don’t overpower the room, they read it. They listen. They flex. They make the client feel part of the process, not the audience to it.

People buy energy and empathy as much as they buy expertise.  So be as authentic as you possibly can!

3. Recovery is part of the job.

No one wins every pitch. The best business developers aren’t fearless, they’re resilient. They take the learning, adjust quickly and move on. Every “no” is a just a rep in the confidence gym.

Confidence is Built in Good Company

Something powerful happens when women leaders share their experiences honestly. The pressure drops, and the learning gets real. That’s what I saw in that Alliance session — stories about difficult clients, shaky starts, hard-won wins.

Confidence doesn’t grow in isolation. It grows in good company, when we remind each other that everyone feels nerves, and that no one has it all together all the time.

We recently launched a new event called Pitch Perfect, where we practice 1-1 roleplaying elevator pitches. At the end we asked people what they thought and many said they were dreading the session, and there was an element of stage fright, but they all learned more with every pitch they did.  All their versions got better by playing around with the orders and saying out loud, and in the end they enjoyed it much more than they thought they would.

The Final Thought

Whether you’re stepping into a pitch (or onto a padel court), confidence isn’t about control. It’s about trust — in your preparation, in your team and in yourself.

You don’t need to perform, you need to connect.

Confidence isn’t a mood. It’s a muscle.

And every pitch is a chance to strengthen it.